I’m Not Losing Me

Lately, I feel like all I ever do is work. I never quite expected it to be this way. I’ve never felt more physically, emotionally, mentally drained. (Okay, I kid. I actually have before, like twice — hint: initiation rites lol)

I don’t wanna lose me. These past days I haven’t done the usual stuff I’ve always done before, back when I had lots of free time and energy to spare. Power yoga, dancing, sleeping at night (come to think of it, I don’t, but this is a whole other thing) even eating right. I feel like I’m being deprived of being me. This is alright though. Just because you find yourself out of your comfort zone doesn’t mean the world’s going to fall apart. Maybe this can even take me to greater heights, I don’t know.

I guess I just miss ‘me’. I miss staying up late until five in the morning by choice. I miss learning choreography and sweating that much. I miss my ‘me’ time — writing in my journal, blogging, just expressing myself through art. I miss it all.

Maybe what I’m really trying to get at…is that I need the weekend. Hahaha. I’ll be fine, I know. This just really feels weird and uncomfortable, like a new pair of shoes. You get used to it in time. And you get better walking in them. They also take you places, to great distances even, once it starts to fit and feel just right.

I’m sort of relieved now that I’ve written a post, at the very least. Four days without writing, the creative sort, is gonna drive me nuts. I need to make art. Without my art, I simply cease to exist.

On the very bright side of life, I got the courage to take risks. Like, I’m up for anything right now. With all the new experiences I’m getting from my work, good and bad, I feel sort of infinite. Hihi. How nice to say that. That actually got a nice ring to it.

I’m happy, but not quite. I guess I’ve pretty much explained how and why in this post. Thank you for listening.

I don’t wanna lose me, so I’m not going to.

xoxo

 

Note: I noticed in my archive that I’ve posted just two days ago. Well, it feels like forever to me.

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2 thoughts on “I’m Not Losing Me

  1. I used to do freelance web development and design, so can understand exactly where this is coming from… I stopped in the end to get some time back – “me” time.

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