I don’t mean an itch.
I mean — what I said. Yes, erase that. Let’s forget those words ever came from my mouth.
L’esprit d’escalier. A French word for that phenomenon when you think of a better thing to say, after you’ve already blurted out an otherwise bland response. Yep. Brain, very good job, thanks for nothing.
This word has stuck in my mind ever since I first learned of it. It’s just perfect. Perfect to describe what happens when we have a conversation.
It’s the most annoying thing ever. Okay, maybe not, but it’s definitely sitting somewhere on the upper part of the list. I just always seem to say the wrong thing when it’s with you. Sometimes my responses come off as too snobby, too uninterested, too interested, too blah, whatever.
And then the perfect reply hits me! Yes, moments after I’ve hit send! After I’ve already said something stupid/inappropriate/insane.
But then that’s you. You have that effect on me.
I just wish, you know, that life came with an edit button — like that nifty feature on Facebook — for what we have to say after we’ve said it. For like, when we change our minds. Or for moments of l’esprit d’escalier. Because really, I have a lot to say to you but it’s just not right to say it now. The moment’s passed and you’re left with that sad excuse for a response.
Oh well. But I really do have sorta awesome stuff to say. Maybe one day we can carry a decent, fun conversation, you know, ’cause I know we can.
If only the butterflies would leave, ohgooooosh.
Oh, but life doesn’t come with an edit button. Deal with it. And just hope that you say something that sounds and feels right next time. After all, you’ve said it for a reason.
You can’t take it back. So let’s all just laugh it off, all the wrong things we ever said.